Do you have a flexible mind or a fixed one?
Posing the question do you have a flexible mind or a fixed mind is an interesting one. If you ask most people they will almost certainly describe themselves as having a flexible or open mind but the reality is often very different. They just don’t see it!
So, let’s look at the traits of both a flexible mind and a fixed mind and see if you can identify where you are on this.
Traits of a flexible mind
People with a flexible mind are curious
They are not afraid to be wrong
They don’t need others to agree with them
They are open to other’s perspectives
People who have a flexible mind are generally far more content within themselves and with life overall. They are generally more engaging, friendly and authentic. This is because they don’t live in constant fear of being challenged, called out or judged. They have higher self- worth and are open to exploring alternative viewpoints. They are also confident in sharing their own. People with flexible minds are generally far less reactive and therefore more approachable.
Traits of a fixed mind
People with a fixed mind can only tolerate their own view
They need others to agree with them
They do not like to be questioned
If you find that you are quick to argue with others it could be that you don’t have a flexible mind. You actually need others to agree with you so that you feel comfortable in your choices, decisions and points of view. If someone does question your point of view you are likely to feel threatened. You will feel challenged, under attack, disrespected, judged, not good enough and generally triggered. This often evokes feelings of anger and frustration resulting in heated arguments and ruptured relationships. You then create an environment where others may feel they have to agree with you on pretty much everything. They do this for fear of triggering you into unpredictable behaviours. Others make themselves responsible for your emotions and behaviours because you cannot be responsible for yourself.
This is difficult to take on board and may be too much of a challenge for some to admit. Denial and resistance are good at protecting the fixed mind!
Whatever sort of mind we each have its creation is based on our subconscious beliefs about ourselves and the things we have experienced throughout our life. If we were able to understand the past experiences of others we would be better able to understand the reasons they have either a fixed or flexible mind.
Having a fixed mind can be detrimental to forming healthy relationships at home, at work or even with friends. If you need help discovering the underlying cause of a fixed mind and want help to improve your overall happiness and well being please get in Contact