It seems it has always been the case that people are brought up with no understanding of how to communicate openly and honestly. From their experience they come to learn that communicating in this way doesn’t get them what they want. Instead, what they do learn, unwittingly, is how to play mind games which serves their agenda.
Driven by Ego
This agenda is unknowingly driven by ego. The mind games include manipulation, guilt tripping, anger, power trips and blaming. This behaviour is toxic and destructive. You need to guard your emotional boundaries carefully. If you don’t you will find yourself being easily drawn in to these games in order to defend yourself. This in turn will lead to escalating conflict and confusion within relationships.
If you are experiencing difficulty in any relationship you would do well to become aware of the patterns of behaviour being expressed by both parties. In order to resolve the situational conflict you must be willing to look within yourself in the first instance. Reacting and retaliating with anger, resentment and frustration is like pouring fuel onto the fire. It will simply flare up and someone will get burned.
Maybe reacting and retaliating has been the way you’ve always handled things. If so, it can take a while to install new behaviour patterns and learn to remain calm and in control. We are all responsible for our own emotions. You choose if you react or respond to challenges and conflict. You can only do this if you become aware of your own behaviour and what may have triggered your reaction.
Taking Responsibilty
By taking responsibility for your own behaviour you can allow yourself to look within where you will discover your un-processed emotions. If you can learn to identify and name these emotions you can begin to understand where they have come from and give them the attention they need. Then in a loving way you can begin to let go of them. This will leave you empowered and more able to disengage with others who seem to thrive on their destructive ego driven reactions and patterns of behaviour. Being in the company of others who are addicted to conflict is exhausting.
In gaining an awareness of these mind games you can take responsibility for how you handle them. Engage or disengage…..it’s your choice. Remember your behaviour is your responsibility and you can choose if you allow yourself to get drawn in by the mind games played by others.
When conflict arises take it as an opportunity to disengage, find some space and look at what it is that needs healing within yourself.
Your power lies in your ability to make the right choice.
It takes practice and may feel uncomfortable to begin with but ultimately it will bring you peace.
If you need help within your relationships please Contact me today for a chat.
