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Perception, Values, Priorities

When our perception of our own value and self-worth is low we are less likely to prioritise our own mental health and general well-being. Mental health is not something you can hold in your hand and say ‘look here it is, this is the source of my suffering, what can I do about it?’ It appears to be invisible to most people because we cover it up so well saying ‘I’m fine’ when really we are not!

Over reactive, snappy, judgemental, angry outbursts, short tempered, snide remarks, over sensitive, quick to blame, tearful, forgetful, lethargic, hyperactive, distracted etc etc….these are all signs of a person in distress.

These behaviours are so common to everyday life they have become normalised but the reality is they are far from normal. These behaviours skew our perception of ourselves because we are running hate programs in our minds causing us to undervalue ourselves and if we are in this position we are not likely to prioritise our mental health because we don’t think we are worth it.

Overall I think we do talk about mental health far more than we ever have in the past but it seems to me it’s perfectly fine to talk about it if it applies to someone else and not ourselves. We are still largely resistant to admitting to ourselves that we are struggling to cope. We ignore , suppress and repress our discontentment, frustration, anger, resentment and our pain and do our best to carry on regardless and it becomes the accepted norm.

Everything you have going on in your life right now including your relationships, your work and how you live is a reflection of your perception, value and priority you place on your self-worth.

Is your relationship with your partner fulfilling? Do they make you feel truly loved, seen ,heard, cherished and appreciated? Do you make your partner feel these things?

 How is work? Are you run ragged and feel used and abused and under- appreciated? What value and attitude do you bring to the work place?

Do you have a loving family who support you and you support them or are there strained and uncomfortable connections?

Most importantly, what is your relationship like with yourself? Is it one of peaceful loving kindness, full of harmonious and fulfilling connections?  Are you calm, curious, connected and content? Do you live with joy, gratitude and forgiveness? Are you happy?

When we don’t understand our perceptions values and priorities,n we can oh so easily tell ourselves stories to stop us looking into the reasons and causes of our anxiety and depression. We prefer the certainty of our suffering because we fear the uncertainty of what our life could look and feel like without the suffering we have come to know so well.

Common stories, all driven by fear, for denying yourself the help and support you need include the following along with my replies:

It won’t work for me……….I say, what proof do you have for this statement?

They won’t understand my situation…………I say, try me! Or is what you’re going through unique to for mankind?

I don’t have the time………..I say, I am flexible and work days, evenings and weekends to accommodate clients work and family commitments.

I can’t attend in person………..I say, no problem I can work via Zoom( an on-line video call.)

I don’t like Zoom……….I say, ask someone to help you download the app and connect you or…we can do a whatsapp video call.

I’m not ready yet……….I say ,for how long have you not been ready? And what needs to happen for you to be ready?

I’ll think about it……………I say, can I answer any questions or reservations you may have? How long have you been thinking about it? How long will you continue to think about it?

I can’t afford it……….I say, do you believe you are not worth it? Take a look at the information below. It may help you see things differently!

Examples only.

6 sessions of therapy at £50 per session                                                                over 6 weeks = £300  

                                                                                                                Over 5 years =£5 per month

                                                                                                                                Over 10 years =£2.50 per month

                                                                                                                                Over 30 years =£0.83 per month

Hair cut/colour/blow dry -average £50 every 8 weeks.                   Over 1 year =£325

                                                                                                                                Over 5 years=£1,625

                                                                                                                                Over 10 years=£3,250

                                                                                                                                Over 30 years=£9,750

Yoga/pilates class –average £8 per class per week                           Over 1 year=£384

                                                                                                                                Over 5 years=£1,920

                                                                                                                                Over 10 years=£3,840

                                                                                                                                Over 30 years=£11,520

Family of 4 take away £30 once a month                                               Over 1 year=£360

                                                                                                                                Over 5 years=£1,800

                                                                                                                                Over 10 years=£3,600

                                                                                                                                Over 30 years=£10,800  

The knowledge you gain from the therapy sessions will set you up for life. It may of course take a few more than 6 sessions depending on each individual client, their situation and their desire to overcome their struggles but I hope you can see the value of investing in yourself in monetary terms. The alternative may mean this time next year or this time in 3 or 5 years, you could have a lovely hair- cut and still be unhappy!!

The decisions you make will all depend on your perceptions, values and priorities!!                                       

  My passion is to support clients while they explore the reasons for their suffering and to give them knowledge, tools and techniques to help them find what they are looking for .

If you think you could benefit from therapy Contact me today.